(Psycho shower scene scream)
Sigh.
You, my friend, are doomed to a solo trip on the baggage carousel of life.
Go on. Just tag yourself "unclaimed" and keep going 'round (like the lost skiis in Daytona or....the vibrator that ended up in Tokyo while the batteries are in Duluth).
If it's true that we view life as a journey, and we do, baggage will always be a necessary evil.
We will always be packing it, lugging it and sitting on it to close it.
Emotionally, we will always be hiding our dirty knickers in it and hoping no one opens it.
But, where else are we going to store all those souvenirs we just had to pick up at every darn gift shop along the way?
I know a little something about the word baggage.
And, while sitting here on the pile, I have had time to buy some serious stock in Samsonite, and profoundly ponder these personal impediments of mine.
I have even compiled some laws about baggage that I recommend everyone keep tucked in the overhead.
Enjoy.
1. Baggage means both, you're going places and you aint going anywhere, when it isn't going anywhere either.
2. Baggage is about the only thing in life, aside from a gas tank, when bigger isn't necessarily better.
3. Baggage only rocks if it rolls.
4. If a woman has baggage, she should seek a mate with matching luggage or a big truck. And take whichever comes first.
5. En-light-enment can be reached through unpacking.
6. It is a bitch to balance excess baggage and high heels. But, balance can be achieved with a really big purse.
7. Men require women to keep their emotions to a 5 oz. minimum….and prefer if they fit in a one quart zip-lock bag.
8. If the baggage no longer fits in the overhead compartment, consider a "shrink".
9. Never trust anyone with a fanny pack. They're always leaving things behind.
10. Sometimes it really is better to keep things packed away. Ever bought a tent and tried to get it back into that little bag?
Love, The Belle of the Baggage Ball
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